Mukotsu's Lament
by Melissa Norvell
Summary: ONE SHOT Mukotsu's feelings about women, and the inner torture he faces when not deemed attractive. Unrequited MukotsuXKagome Please R&R!


**Well, here I am with another Inuyasha fanfic. This idea just won't leave me alone. So here's something Mukotsu based, there aren't many fanfics about him, so here's for the poison user of the Shinchinintai.**

**Mukotsu's Lament**

**By: Oneesan no Miroku Houshi**

Why does it have to be this way?

Ever since birth I had been unattractive. I was never the boy that all of the girls liked. I was forever shunned by society. All of the women that I had tried to become friendly with turned their noses up or made faces of disgust.

I felt sorrow, rejection and more so, anger.

No one would ever love me.

They are all so specific, because every woman wants an attractive man. It seems that no one can see past the ugliness and into the inner beauty.

I do have inner beauty. It's not as if, not given the chance, that I could be as good as all of the other men in Japan.

Oh, what it is to be the ugly duckling; unloved and unwanted by all. This is why I have the profession I do. Now, if a lovely woman doesn't want me, I can make them want me by paralyzing them and seeing if they are a suitable bride.

Those who fear my face, face death.

So far, there has been no woman suitable enough for me to wed as of yet.

Then I was told of her.

Upon meeting up with Jakotsu again, I was told of a lovely woman named Kagome. She was simply stunning, an almost divine aura surrounding her. She had milky white skin, as smooth as cream, dark chocolate eyes, whose depths draw and lure one into her gaze, long, jet black hair, more haunting then any depth of midnight. She was slender and agile.

So very very beautiful.

She would be mine.

I would make her be mine.

She was more then satisfactory to me.

A bride beyond all beauty.

As she laid there, her body in deep paralysis from my poison, I couldn't help but chuckle in glee to myself at the thought of having her by my side.

I drape a white cloth over her and animate her limbs with my own in our courtship ritual dance. I serenaded her the best I knew how. Tough she was paralyzed she knew well what was happening to her. She was succumbing to me, whether she liked it or not.

She would be my bride.

She would learn to love the unloved.

Upon our courtship dance, her friends tried to meddle, but I quickly put a stop to that.

Damn them for trying to tear us apart!

She was the only one for me! I was sure of it!

They didn't understand what it was liked to be shunned and looked down upon, for they did not possess a complexion such as mine. They did not have to worry about being turned down of having people repulse at a single glance.

They didn't have to put up with the faced of disgust and rejection.

The faces that haunt, forever burning impressions into their mind!

Those faces…

Those faces!

…

What in the --?

I am choking.

To my surprise, I look down to find that she is stabbing my in the neck with a sharp object.

My bride has betrayed me!

Isn't this how it always is?

No woman would ever love me for me!

All they see is the outside, and not the in. No one knows of inner beauty anymore. All I wish is to have someone to love. Why? Why can't I be fortunate enough to find someone?

Tears of inner and out pain swell into my eyes and grace themselves over my face, pouring out. Isn't it funny how not even my tears can comfort me now? I feel just as alone as I have in the past, my only company being that of men…

I ask her if my face repels her as well.

She gives me no definite answer.

I feel a once dormant rage begin to build. How dare she betray me like this? How dare she try to kill me! I shall kill her first!

The never mine.

She wasn't mine.

And now she won't be able to be anyone else's either…

I suddenly feel another sharp pain; it came from a dog demon, known simply as Sesshoumaru. I was aghast at this. I had once thought that our only enemies were Inuyasha and his band of friends.

I try everything to rid myself of him. Even my finest poisons were no match for him.

I am finally sent back to where I once had resided.

As I die, I think of how I never had the chance to be happy. No woman ever loved me, and none ever would.

I was to be alone all of my life, and even now I am to be alone.

Alone in an eternal resting place.

Alone as I had came into the world.

Alone.

It's quite sad really. Sad, yet ironic that it would be my fate.

My dreams of finding a mate were never brought to truth and the world is still misunderstood about my true intentions of that day. The only thing I regret is not being able to find anyone who cared enough to look past the ugliness and into the man inside.

**Owari**

**A/N: Don't know why it was Mukotsu I chose to write about, but it feels good writing about someone other then Inuyasha, Kagome and all of the norm that float around Don't get me wrong, I write about them too, but it's just cliché'd after a while.**

**Anyway, please R&R and tell me what you think!**


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